Confessions of a GAD Girl

welcome to my anxious brain

Thus Begins The Tour of Couch Country.

Oh my. So much has happened since I last wrote. Google it. In the meantime, here’s a little bit of breaking news from my world.

I.AM.SINGLE.

I literally thought I would never say that again.

I honestly thought I found the right guy this time. But, alas, as with so many other thoughts I’ve had over the years, I was wrong.

Let’s cut to the chase. He dumped me. I’m not going to sugar coat it. We had some issues, that I thought we could work through, but he felt differently. It’s all good though. It truly is for the best. I guess. That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway – I need to get through this valley of darkness. I need to stay positive. And motivated. I need to stay focused on MY future. It’s all about me these days. And this time I really mean it.

 

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
— T.S. Eliot

 

I’m not quite ready to get into the details of the break up. They don’t exactly matter at the moment. Right now, I need to concentrate on removing all trace of me from our shared apartment. Then, it’ll be about selling as much of my crap — errr, I mean, awesome stuff — as I can. After that, comes the major financial logistics of moving and starting over.

Thus Begins The Tour Of Couch Country

And thus begins The Tour of Couch Country, which shall carry me across the United States.

Oh, did I not mention that? Yeah….I’m moving from California to Ohio.

Why Ohio, you ask?

Mortuary School.

Yup. You read that right. I am moving to the other side of the country, at the age of 39, to attend Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science.

I have not been this excited about learning something new in almost two decades.

Kinda sad, ain’t it? But that’s what happens when you ignore your gut and allow others to influence your decisions. I do not blame them, as I was the person who made the choices that were made, but shit, they definitely had an impact.

I have been encouraged by more than one close friend to write about this transition of life. I shall do my best. Who knows, maybe someone somewhere will read my journey and make their own positive life changes. Crazier things have happened, n’est pas?

Tonight, as I prepare to settle into my first couch, located at the home of a chosen-sister, I’m feeling warmth in my heart, generated by the village I didn’t realize I had until this time of need. I am truly humbled by the outpouring of love and support. Apparently, I have more friends than I thought. That’s a good feeling.

Couch #1 – Albany, CA – 9.4.17

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7 thoughts on “Thus Begins The Tour of Couch Country.

  • rhobby says:

    I wish I had a couch, I wish I was on the way to Ohio and I wish you the best and I wish you the most and I hope you find it, or that it finds you. And I’m happy that you’re doing it.

  • Bridget says:

    Already offered my poorly-located couches. But I also have love and hugs and messages. 😉

  • Em says:

    Mortuary school? That’s so awesome!!! I have a couch (and futon) but am guessing Placerville is too far from the bay while you’re there and not far enough from the bay as you head to Ohio. Wishing you all the best from the CA foothills though!

  • Leila says:

    Hillary
    Nothing happen for no reason! The UNIVERSE knows better. Sometimes we don’t understand certain things or why they happen to us at first but as the time goes by, everything starts to fall in place. We MUST trust our guts which is also knowing as “Intuitive voice”. We are always in the right PLACE, with the right PERSON.
    I am very positive that this chapter of your life closed because a better one is ready to be opened!! Truly, my best wishes

  • Neggiesou says:

    I’m SO proud of you! Seriously. So. Proud.

  • Molly Hale says:

    Write on wild one. The “force” is with you. Excitement. Big love.

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