Confessions of an Anxious Mortician
welcome to my anxious brain
Picture it…October 2017. Less than a month before I packed up my whole life and existence and moved to Ohio. SO fucking much has happened since then. SO MUCH. I’ve missed you. Let’s start to catch up, shall we? Join me this evening for the first five chapters. Chapter One. My New Life. Chapter Two. […]
I drove over an hour in Bay Area commute traffic the other night to meet a friend for dinner at a steakhouse (i.e. I ventured through hell for food). It was totally worth it. Between the absolutely delicious wine, the extra bread, the sop-up worthy drunken prawns, and the key lime dessert, there was Steak […]
Sigh. If I didn’t have important alcohol consumption plans for the rest of October, I would totally leave for my new life tomorrow. I’m ready. Really, really, ready. I’ve been couch surfing for a month now, mostly on the same couch, but still not my couch. Not my own space. Not my personalized comfort zone. […]
It’s been nine days since we last chatted. Well, since I last chatted *at* you, but whatever. I’m on Couch #4 (which technically is Couch #1), at my chosen-sister’s house. She’s been ever so accommodating. I truly owe her something grand. Like a massage. A deep tissue massage, at the hands of a muscular man […]
Twenty years. I’ve known my BFF for twenty years. I met her husband that same month. We were all college students then, at Humboldt State University in Arcata, CA. I was a Sophomore, and they were Freshmen. It was the late 1990s, and life was grand. And green. Very, very green. They were not a […]
I’m on Couch #2 tonight, at my sister’s family’s house, where I am staying the night with their 17-year-old cat. Old Man Lolo is very sweet, but my lord, he’s old. He can’t go down the stairs himself, so he is trapped upstairs until he meows his grouchy man meow, and someone goes up to […]
OH.MY.GAWD. I am exhausted beyond exhausted. The removal of my stuff from the apartment isn’t going as smoothly, or quickly, as I would like. I’ll just flat out say it…I’m on my period. And my periods are hellish. Like, near-hemorrhaging hellish. Doing 85% of my move alone, while on the heaviest days of my period, […]
Oh my. So much has happened since I last wrote. Google it. In the meantime, here’s a little bit of breaking news from my world. I.AM.SINGLE. I literally thought I would never say that again. I honestly thought I found the right guy this time. But, alas, as with so many other thoughts I’ve had […]
Congratulations to us! We survived 2016. Phew!! It was a close one at times. I have conflicting feelings about this year coming to an end. On the one hand, these past twelve months have been very trying in both my personal life and across the United States in general, so the beginning of a new […]
I seriously love giraffes. LOVE.THEM. Last June, on World Giraffe Day, I got to feed some. I hope to do it again this year. Below is one of my most favorite giraffes pictures. It makes me so super-duper happy. “This giraffe named Misha was captured kissing her newborn baby calf…”