Confessions of an Anxious Mortician

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Couch Number Three Is Where I Be, For A Weekend Of Baby Shower Chaos

Twenty years.

I’ve known my BFF for twenty years. I met her husband that same month. We were all college students then, at Humboldt State University in Arcata, CA. I was a Sophomore, and they were Freshmen. It was the late 1990s, and life was grand. And green. Very, very green.

They were not a couple back in those days. Separate lives and independent experiences were on the agenda, and thus life took them on paths that merged and then parted, and then merged again. They finally married three years ago.

But I digress…..

This weekend is the celebration of their combined love. (Bow chica-bow-bow.)

They be having a baby!

Their little human will be born this October, and I shall be his Fairy Guide Mother. I came up with the title myself, of course.

Today the BFF and I roamed around town and gathered all the baby shower accoutrement we could think of. And get for a steal. I’m not going to go so far as to say that we’re cheap, but we’re definitely a couple of frugal discount store loving ladies.

Side Note: Four of the last five paragraphs all started with the letter T. Kinda funny, seeing how the first letter of the name for the baby soon-to-be-born to the BFF is T.

While we were out and about today, the BFF and I took a detour through a super annoyingly slow Starbucks drive-thru. It was a much needed coffee break, but the insanely sluggish car line really chapped my hide. The only consolation was the iced caramel Macchiato at the finish line. It was initially refreshing, but ultimately lacked the level of caramel I was hoping for. Yet another lesson in expectations. Keep them low, people! That way you’ll never be disappointed, and perhaps maybe be sometimes pleasantly surprised.

Speaking of being surprised…’s a little bit of something off the beaten path, as witnessed from the Starbucks drive-thru.

It’s a Harley Davidson stretch limo pick-up truck thing. Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what it is.

Stretch Limo Pick Up

Ok, so…..yada, yada, yada….. I spent a couple hours making and preparing one-of-a-kind items for my BFF’s baby on the way, during which I concurrently rewarded myself with wine. And then I rewarded myself with more wine once everything was done. And then I started this blog post.

And ate chocolate. Dark and Nutty.

Dark & Nutty

It’s time for me to attempt the act of slumber. It’s 3 o’clock in the morning. The BFF and I are scheduled to hit the road for the shower venue no later than 9:00am. That’s six hours. Is it concerning that I think anything over four hours of sleep is something extra-ordinary? Perhaps that’s a discussion for a different time.

Until then…..

Couch Number Three,
Is where I be,
For it is a stop on the road.

Couch Number Three,
Oh how I love thee,
For you see into my soul.

Couch #3 – Plumas Lake, CA – 9.9.17


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