Confessions of an Anxious Mortician

welcome to my anxious brain

Did The Universe Abide?

Chapter Forty-One. I scheduled my Laws exam. If I pass, I’ll finally be a licensed Funeral Director. This is what I moved across the country for. I’m terrified. Success scares the shit out of me. Keeping my eye on the end goal. My name on that sign. If I fail, I do it again. As always.

Chapter Forty-Two. I passed my Laws exam. So close to being a licensed Funeral Director, I can almost taste it. It tastes like accomplishment. And vodka. Success is right around the corner. So is a raise. I’m quite happy I pulled up stakes and moved to Cincinnati. The Universe abides.

Chapter Forty-Three. I went to my first Funeral Director shindig, and won $250. Then I went home to Cali and did a heavy load of soul-searching. It was exactly what I needed. Next month, if all goes well, I’ll be officially official. The chapters are coming to an end.

Chapter Forty-Four. That’s how old I am. Ha! And I’m still alive. (Whoa!) I’m also officially officially a licensed Funeral Director. With two Bachelors degrees, an Associates degree, and a handful of Certificates. Who would’ve thunk it, all those years ago. Not I! Here’s to those who wish me well, and those who don’t can go to Hell!!

Chapter Forty-Five. My plan was to stop my Chapters when I got licensed, and then make a coffee table book. But the chapters keep going. So, as with every other time in my life, I’m going to keep going. But I still want to make a coffee table book of my journey.

And now you’re caught up. Sort of.

I’m a licensed Funeral Director. I have a Big Girl job.

I’m still depressed and anxious, but also…..


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