Confessions of an Anxious Mortician

welcome to my anxious brain

Starting Over

Theory vs Practice In Death Care

Here’s one of the things (of many) they don’t tell you whilst attending Mortuary School… the emotions you’re gonna feel with families is UNREAL. There are so many long stories I could tell you right now, but I’ll keep it short ’cause I are tirrred. Between yesterday’s Graveside for a 50-something woman who met her […]

All Alone At The Funeral Home

Ok. So. My boss and my co-worker (my boss’s son) are in Michigan for a week. I’m all alone at the funeral home for a week. All.Alone. Surprisingly, my anxiety is very low. It’s either because of my meds, or because I actually have confidence in myself. WHAT?? con·fi·dence: the feeling or belief that one […]

I Actually DO Make A Difference!

WARNING: This post is the longest one I’ve written in a very long time. I hope it’s worth it… For so many years I floundered on the shore of existence. I would say 39, but I guess technically my first 5 years (on this subject) didn’t count; only because it wasn’t before then that I […]

I’m Vertical! How Are You?

I’m still here. Not quite sure where “here” is, or what that means, but apparently, it’s “here.” HERE. I would say I’m still standing, but, ummm… Let’s go with vertical, shall we? Anywhoo….. Cincinnati, Ohio. 2023. A licensed Funeral Director. Who would’ve thunk it? Not me! (Except, maybe little Hilary, circa 1985)

Did The Universe Abide?

Chapter Forty-One. I scheduled my Laws exam. If I pass, I’ll finally be a licensed Funeral Director. This is what I moved across the country for. I’m terrified. Success scares the shit out of me. Keeping my eye on the end goal. My name on that sign. If I fail, I do it again. As […]

I Shall March On…

Sometimes you “can’t” go home again. R.I.P. Betty White. Chapter Thirty-six. Trip back home wasn’t what I expected; though I’m not sure what I expected. Looking back, it’s truly something I needed, and put a lot of things into perspective. Work is crazy as usual. I’m working on changing my mindset. The future sort of […]

#LastResponder #Hysterectomy

Decided that the pictures should be first. Chapter Thirty-one. It’s cold. There’s a new President. Work is hard, but I finally have a career. I have a big girl job, and a new big girl car. The holidays are coming; they’re going to be weird this year. So much of life up in the air. […]

I Was Not Content. It Did Not Feel Good. I Was Not Glad.

Chapter Twenty-Six. My time on the CCMS campus is over. Practicum starts on Monday. Still doing on-call nights and weekends at my current funeral home residence. Forty-four days until I graduate with a Bachelor’s in Mortuary Science. Still need to find an apprenticeship. Life is good. Chapter Twenty-Seven. The Covid-19 pandemic is a thing. Graduation […]

The Semesters Flew By!

Chapter Twenty One. Second semester at Mortuary Science school successfully completed. Roommate at my funeral home apartment moves in tomorrow. I haven’t lived with a stranger in twenty years. My whole life is in one room. This too shall pass. Chapter Twenty-Two. Third semester well under way. Roommate dropped out after a week of school […]

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