Confessions of a GAD Girl

welcome to my anxious brain

One Giant Step For GAD Girl

I am so proud of myself! It may seem like small potatoes to you, but to me, it’s a big giant pumpkin of greatness. In the last few days, several emotional, mental, and physical curve balls have been thrown my way, and instead of shutting down or freaking out, I’ve totally handled it like a normal person.

Let me elaborate.

In the last six days:

I did two things wrong at work that could’ve had more serious consequences than they did;
My knee hurt to the point of not being able to put weight on it;
My desktop computer died;
I locked my keys in my car;
I had a weekend of excitement that I actually was able to enjoy (usually when I’m genuinely excited about something I get so anxious I kill the joy);
My period and its accompanying cramps-from-Hell arrived;
I almost fainted at work;
I killed my phone by dropping it in the toilet.

That’s a lot of things for a GAD girl to handle in such a short amount of time. Yet I’ve managed to keep my cool and roll with the punches. Woohoo! If such a load was put on me a few years back, I can pretty much guarantee that I would have been a total mess. I would have analyzed each event within an itch of its life, convinced myself that it was a sign of the end of times, and then overwhelm myself so much that I shut down competently.

Yeah… not exactly the most productive use of my energy. But, such is the life of a life with GAD.

There are a number of reasons why I’m able to ride this current wave, including learned coping skills and my general maturity. I’m also in a much better overall head space than I was even a year ago. I have a job that I actually enjoy, a man who I’m head-over-heels for, a supportive circle of family and friends, and a much appreciated understanding of radical acceptance.

The point of all this is that today I felt in my soul a pride for the distance I’ve come in the last decade and a reassurance that it’s okay that I don’t absorb and react to stressors like other people do. I’m handling my life in a way that works for me. I’m healthy and I’m happy, and right now, that’s all that really matters.

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